I wrote this poem to encourage people who are weary from the battle to recover from their wounds. It is easy to lose perspective on our journey to wholeness after experiencing intimate trauma. Some may even want to give up and stop trying to heal and grow. I trust this piece will encourage you to […]
I wrote this blog in honor of the many betrayed spouses who experience a marital crisis that hits them hard during the holidays, especially Christmas (or Hanukkah). This is when memories loom large and emotions run high, when confronted with sad events that occurred during what is supposed to be the happiest time of the […]
I’ve been remarried for over twenty-two years to a wonderful man named Dan. In 2020, during the pandemic, doctors discovered he had a large growth in his ribs, called Chondrosarcoma, a terrible cancer if it spreads. When they surgically removed the growth, they had to remove a good portion of three of his ribs. In […]
Common Traits of the UnfaithfulI will never forget the words of a nurse friend named Ann. We ate mozzarella-topped salads as I bemoaned my husband’s unfaithfulness and ultimate rejection of me. I voiced all my theories about why he cheated, deep down scared to death that I somehow deserved it. She said, “I think infidelity […]
One of the unfortunate results of an unfaithful spouse attaching to an outside love, is they often detach from their original spouses in ways that seem strange and disorienting to the hurt spouse. If you have read much about Attachment, you know how powerful it is and an important aspect to nurture and maintain in […]
This blog post includes most of Chapter 16 of my upcoming book, The Post-Affair Divorce: Heal Your Life, Restore Your Faith, after Infidelity Breaks Up Your Marriage. It bears some similarities to the previous blog on Rationalizing, but is more in-depth. Cognitive Dissonance is a helpful thought process to grasp for both the betrayers and the betrayed. […]
This is a brief article for a better understanding of the dynamic of rationalizing. One of the biggest things that I believe can liberate a betrayed spouse, is the TRUTH. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32 Often, an unfaithful partner rationalizes his/her sexually immoral mental and physical […]
How to regain your sanity when this occurs One of the most disorienting experiences for betrayed spouses is not just the affair itself—but what comes after. Suddenly, the marriage you remember is declared a mistake. The love you shared is minimized or denied. Your partner insists they were “never really happy,” even when you recall […]
In the movie Ghost Town, Gwen—a recently widowed woman—discovers that her late husband had been involved in an affair before his death. The revelation plunges her into a second kind of grief, layered atop the first. She is suddenly catapulted from grieving widow to traumatized, self-doubting wife. In the movie Ghost Town, Gwen—a recently widowed woman—discovers that […]
“Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame…You will forget the shame of your youthand remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.”—Isaiah 54:4 Someone once told me that the biblical commands to care for widows also apply to divorced people today. In many ways, a widow’s experience in ancient times […]
